Home → Love & Relationships → What Do You Contribute In a Relationship?
August 29, 2010 by Chykara at 9:13 AM EST
I haven't been in such a mood to talk about relationships and love, but for some reason, I had the urge to post something about it. So much in the media, and with elders you hear them say that the man is supposed to take care of everything and roll the red carpet for women. I'll split this up in two parts, because ideally the way women think about relationships is very different than how men view them. I'll start off with women, because I am a woman, and I know this best. I believe the root to most problems in a relationship began with the thought patterns of women. No offense to anyone in the slightest, but lets wonder why men are so big on making big bucks, driving fancy cars and all sorts of lavish things? Why for women of course. They are the motivation and energy to do this right from the jump. I grew up believing that sitting back ordering people around is not how you make friends. I adapted this concept into my relationships, but some guys were not ready for this type of companionship.
Why does everything people do have to be separate? Men go off thinking that they don't want their woman involved into their fun after they get married. Well, I think the reason for this is what they were told by women in the past. So, let me get straight to the point now that I stated the causes and problems.
Are you worth keeping? I mean, do you consider yourself bringing something new and exciting to a relationship? Do you feel you are constantly learning new and wonderful things together? The reason these questions come to mind is for the sake of your happiness. Looks may have caught their eye and kept them around for some months, but like websites, you need content. You can make a website look nice and sleek, but with no content, you will not keep visitors coming back and staying.
Children is not content. You cannot keep a relationship going because of children, because once they are gone out of the house, there is nothing there.
So how do you change your beliefs and start contributing useful content to a relationship? Well for starters, have common interests and goals. They say opposites attract, but they only attract if you feel comfortable being separate. I don't feel comfortable being opposite because I want everything I do and everything they do out in the open, both supportive and totally involved. Next thing to do, if one is shooting for a goal, try to work with them and be a part of their goals to the point where they can depend on you for things. This may seem simple, but it is effective. Everyone is on an equal playing field if you decide to help each other out. Why else would you sleep in the same bed if you want to be separate on everything else? You might as well sleep in separate beds, separate rooms and while your at it, separate houses, and ultimately, separate lives. The hole of separation will start to get bigger over the years of the relationship because people fail to do things together. What is the point of having a relationship if you can't stay around each other all of the time? You will jump from relationship to relationship unless you and the person your with realize you need to have content and togetherness! Marriage is the ultimate team, not the ultimate separation. Think about it.
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